Coming back from Rainbow Garage -- Rebuilding R

 How do we reconcile what happens now? Depression takes hold and why wouldn't it? Plans for the future . . . gone, or at least put on hold--indefinitely. Caravan and traveling the blue highways? Retiring to our property? Where do we go from here? R will be with us for the rest of our lives, quite literally. We have to take care of him, make sure he's safe, make sure he's healthy.  Best laid plans, eh? I see others having fun, enjoying freedom, vanity vacations, etc. Is it worth it? You damned right it is !!! I am grateful to have our child alive and thriving (hopefully).  It's just a strange sensation, to think of things in pre/post, before/after mentality. Can I call it BG and AG, before-garage and after-garage respectively? Facebook is kinda sad for me now. I look at my Vegan Friends group hanging out and know that's not a part of my life any longer. I had just started getting to know them too.  But there are some good tradeoffs as well. Having A home is sure nice

The whole thing appears surreal to me, indeed to my whole immediate family.  I couldn't write about it then as I was too emotionally vested. Even now, I'm afraid to write about it, afraid to relive it. But I must. Not just for myself, but for anyone else out there who needs the help, the support, or the realization that they are not alone. I can't help but think back to one of my favorite books in Middle School, The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton. It's great for sure, but that's not why I can't help but recall it in this instance. Spoiler alert: it's because the protagonist, Ponyboy Curtis, having just completed his story, not must sit down and put it down. He essentially writes the first paragraph of the novel. Classic. That's where I am now. Trying hard to remember all the events that led to our current situation. Granted, he's a fictional character, but inspirational nonetheless.  Tuesday, December 19, 2023 Recollect the details, ready to write I regret